Recently returned from a holiday to Turkey – Calis Beach cos lack of suitable hotels in Fethiye. Although I won’t mention the hotel’s name*….. here’s my review regarding un/suitability. If u want 2 know more – ask 3rd Eye Sage……
NOT Suitable ….
- For single travellers, really. Not if u don’t like family-bonding and family-oriented activities around the pool.
- If you don’t like cavorting, drunken grannies gyrating to Country & Western (very loud) songs at the poolside bar @ 3 o’clock in the morning. Every morning. Especially not if your ‘upgraded’ room is directly opposite that bar.
- If u don’t like very loud music being played around poolside from 1400 onwards….
- …Nor if u don’t like having to get up at 06h00 every day to ‘reserve’ your sunbed by the pool.
- If u not keen on virulent atmospheres pervading the site.
Suitable if you:
- LU-U-U-U-RVE. ye old symbolism and enjoy being shunted between rooms so that the pernicious numbers 128 / 218 or any variation thereof hangs around yr neck 4 duration – so that Masonic Fraternity can get their Zionist Messiah off on you !!! Stooooopid – WAKE UP !!
- Like to spend all yr time @ hotel and eating/drinking from their cafes/restaurants, for suitable amounts of loot (see below).
- Like to not have yr room cleaned for first four days.
- Like to be charged nearly double for single occupancy.
MUST HAVES 4 YR HOL……
- Strong, granny-decibel-resistant ear plugs;
- Lots of money to spend on hotel beverages exhibiting a 100% to 200% mark-up margin;
- Appetites 4 malicious, down-spiralling gossip – especially about other residents;
- Subconscious wishes 2 spend coupla weeks amongst other British people who all looking 4 common ground so they can feel they part of a group;
- No desire to meet the natural, real Turks (whom u won’t find in a tourist compound like Calis Beach). Instead, you must want to spend all yr time getting to know the ‘Hotel-Naturalised’ Turks – discounted from ‘Real Turks’ description, cos the former have lived amongst British ppl 4 so long that their mental states have transitioned – they become juslike one of the British! Wicked, Dude!!
Top Tips
- Dolmus (bus) stop just up the road, to get away from compound.
- Don’t try and sneak in, carrying illicit bought bottles of water (to avoid the 200% mark up of hotel water), cos there is CCTV absolutely EVERYWHERE !!
Why is it that as soon as I sniff out, i.e. SENSE, the influence of the Zionist-Illuminati-Grey Wolves-Masonic-Pontifical cabal/Kabbal…… very bad and depressing things start to happen to me ??
Is this the inverse of MAJIK ???
Note 2 the Zionist Messiah:
Y don’t u step up 2 the plate and B identified, major, Dire S-talker, cos there R millions of people who wd love to hear there is someone (better still, a Biblical someone)who can cure their financial and emotional problems.
Let’s think……, u cd put on reincarnations of yr concerts – don8 proceeds to those who R not MILLIONAIRES………….
Put one on in Worthing and even I’d go – for a BIG, BIG, BIG …….. Fee.
* Suffice it to say, there’s little harmony at this hotel.
Pix refs –